I am writing this post in response to Ali and Jenn's blogs. They were writing about small groups. I feel like I have something to say also but I feel super distracted since I'm at work. Yet I just hate getting on the computer while at home! Anyways, I understand what you're feeling Jenn and Ali.
I feel like relationships get harder when you're married. Maybe I just haven't quite figured out how to mesh the two yet.... Or maybe it's just our random schedules that confuse me. I love spending time with my husband and since I don't see him as often as most wives see their husbands, I struggle with giving my nights to other people- unless he's gone at class or unless he's hangin' out with other guys. I do believe it's important in marraige relationships to spend time with one another and to grow together, rather than always being apart and growing apart from each other. If only there was more time in one week- In one lifetime! Time flies by so fast- so fast that I feel the need to organize it, keep track of it, moniter it. This often stresses me out because I realize relationships are so important. How ON EARTH do I (can I) make time for my Lord and Savior, time for my husband, time for brothers and sisters in Chirst, AND time for ministry to those who most desparately need it- those who don't know Christ???? Oh God, how do you expect me to figure all this out? And when I do invest time to all of the above, I am so stretched that I cannot give my all to any of the above!
Anyways, I am getting off track a little so I'll get back on :) Splitting our small group was a dissappointing idea to me as well, yet at the same time I realized the need for others to come in- so my feelings were very mixed... I agree that long-lasting relationships are ideal. Long-lasting relationships where we can encourage one another in Christ and grow older together, share life with one another, be there for one another through the good and the bad. This is why I also struggled with the idea of splitting. On the other hand, I remembered how Jason and I were when we first came to Xpedition. I remember how we so desparately wanted/needed to be united with an intentional group of brothers and sisters. I remembered how excited we were to become a part of a regularly meeting small group. And I want others to have that option as well. So... while I 100% agree with your blog, Jenn, I have super mixed feelings about the whole ordeal! I must say that it will be frustrating if our group keeps splitting and splitting and splitting. Jason's parents had the same issue in their Bible Study group. They were being pressured to split to make room for other people. While they did consider it, they chose, in the end, not to split and to stay a close knit cell group. And they have remained this way for over 15 years.
So... to sum up everything, I don't know what to think! I just believe that as long as we are all seeking the Lord together, God will show us what's best for us and what's best from an eternal perspective. The ultimate goal is to encourage one another and to build each other up in Christ. Lord, we ask You to show us what this looks like...
Monday 25 August 2008
Friday 22 August 2008
The Grand Canyon!!!
Jason and I had such an amazing weekend in Arizona! I could not believe how gorgeous the Grand Canyon is! We flew into Pheonix on Friday afternoon and, man, is it blistering hot there! Unfortunately, my brother's too cheap to have AC so we were roasting in the jeep. When you roll all your windows down at 75mph it seriously feels like the heater is just blaring in your face- that's how hot it is in Pheonix. Needless to say, we were happy to reach a higher elevation. My brother and his wife live in Flagstaff which is at an elevation of 7,000 ft. so the weather is much better up there. We spent all day Saturday at the Grand Canyon. Have you guys been there yet? If not, it IS a must see! We were awed, and were having the time of our lives climbing all over the cliff edges. The cliffs are a straight mile down- crazy! It was almost unreal to look at. You could barely see the Colorado River at the bottom. When you are on the edges of the Canyon looking down it feels unreal. Everything looks so far away that it almost feels like you're looking at a picture or painting rather than at something real. We were climbing all over and took some pretty amazing pictures. You all know Jason and I love to climb- well, so does my brother. The three of us were being a little dangerous and my brother's wife was in tears at certain points, refusing to watch us, worrying and probably imagining the worse was going to happen.
There was one point where I realized my limits... It was scary. We wanted to climb down this wall of rock but were very hesitant about climbing down because we weren't sure how we'd get back up. It was probably 10 feet down the rock and at the bottom of the rock, 2 to 3 feet of sloped ground (loose dirt) before the cliff just dropped off into the Canyon. We somehow managed to get down and to climb to the jagged cliff points on the very very edge of the Canyon drop. Once there, we were all a little too nervous to even stand for fear we'd slip or get hit by a strong gust of wind. I laid down and looked directly over the edge. I momentarily froze. It was just a dead drop, thouands of feet down, nothing but rocks at the bottom (which looked tiny!). It was at this point that I realized the severity of what we were doing. My brother managed his way back to the 10 ft. cliff to take pictures of Jason and I on the protruding edge- this was the first time I actually pictured him slipping and falling off the Canyon (which would have been easy cause we had been walking on a 2 ft. slope on the very edge of the drop). Tears filled my eyes and I imagined all the guilt and anguish I'd feel if that happened to any one of us. At this point I started getting really nervous. No longer did I move with such confidence. Instead, I moved inch by inch with tears in my eyes, shaking from fear of any one of us falling. We managed to get back to that 10 ft wall we had climbed down. After several minutes my brother figured out a way to get back up and with much effort made it to the top. Unfortunatly, the only way he made it was by pulling his whole body up with nothing but arm strength, because there was no place for a foothold. Jason went next and managed to pull himself up, with much effort and arm strength. Well, one thing about me..... i don't really have arm strength. So there I was, stuck at the bottom right next to the drop, already freaked out from fear. And now I could see how unfeasable it was for me to get up. Not to mention the fact that I was down there by myself. I was shaking so much and was extremely freaked out- I realized I'd need Jason and David to pull me up, which meant relying on their strength with my life. Jason climbed back down and stood behind me to catch me in case David couldn't hold me- which probably only would have resulted in both of us tumbling into the Canyon. Somehow David and Jason managed to get me up and after that my respect for the danger of the Canyon increased tenfold. 200 people a year die at the Canyon from falling, dehydration, or exhaustion. It was so high that any amount of activity would just wipe you out- because of how thin the air was.
We got some pretty amazing pictures! I'd write more about our time in AZ but this blog is already long enough!!
There was one point where I realized my limits... It was scary. We wanted to climb down this wall of rock but were very hesitant about climbing down because we weren't sure how we'd get back up. It was probably 10 feet down the rock and at the bottom of the rock, 2 to 3 feet of sloped ground (loose dirt) before the cliff just dropped off into the Canyon. We somehow managed to get down and to climb to the jagged cliff points on the very very edge of the Canyon drop. Once there, we were all a little too nervous to even stand for fear we'd slip or get hit by a strong gust of wind. I laid down and looked directly over the edge. I momentarily froze. It was just a dead drop, thouands of feet down, nothing but rocks at the bottom (which looked tiny!). It was at this point that I realized the severity of what we were doing. My brother managed his way back to the 10 ft. cliff to take pictures of Jason and I on the protruding edge- this was the first time I actually pictured him slipping and falling off the Canyon (which would have been easy cause we had been walking on a 2 ft. slope on the very edge of the drop). Tears filled my eyes and I imagined all the guilt and anguish I'd feel if that happened to any one of us. At this point I started getting really nervous. No longer did I move with such confidence. Instead, I moved inch by inch with tears in my eyes, shaking from fear of any one of us falling. We managed to get back to that 10 ft wall we had climbed down. After several minutes my brother figured out a way to get back up and with much effort made it to the top. Unfortunatly, the only way he made it was by pulling his whole body up with nothing but arm strength, because there was no place for a foothold. Jason went next and managed to pull himself up, with much effort and arm strength. Well, one thing about me..... i don't really have arm strength. So there I was, stuck at the bottom right next to the drop, already freaked out from fear. And now I could see how unfeasable it was for me to get up. Not to mention the fact that I was down there by myself. I was shaking so much and was extremely freaked out- I realized I'd need Jason and David to pull me up, which meant relying on their strength with my life. Jason climbed back down and stood behind me to catch me in case David couldn't hold me- which probably only would have resulted in both of us tumbling into the Canyon. Somehow David and Jason managed to get me up and after that my respect for the danger of the Canyon increased tenfold. 200 people a year die at the Canyon from falling, dehydration, or exhaustion. It was so high that any amount of activity would just wipe you out- because of how thin the air was.
We got some pretty amazing pictures! I'd write more about our time in AZ but this blog is already long enough!!
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