Tree decorating

I'm not sure why I feel the need to blog right now. There are a million things I want to do before Jason walks through the door. I have to clean up the MESS from decorating and jiggling the Christmas tree around, I have to clean up my mess from the chocolate chip cookies I made, I have to put away boxes, and put supper together....

So I'll get straight to the point. I decorated our tree today! It's BEAUTIFUL! I love the lights from the tree shimmering in our living room. It makes it all look so cozy and warm. We just need a fire place to top things off... but it's not happening. At least not here and not anytime soon.

I fell so blessed lately in so many ways. I love my husband, this ministry, the fellowship we have with other believers here, we have plenty of food, a nice apartment... the list goes on. I keep praying, "God, prepare me for the day when things will seem they're falling apart." Because I know that day will come. I believe I'm understanding more and more how to seek God through the good and bad times. But "bad" times haven't happened for a while. I pray every day for strength to be faithful and to find joy despite whatever my circumstances may be. God is my joy, He is my life, He is my strength. I pray this will be evident ALL the time .

Listening to Techno and Reflecting...

And here I sit typing as I listen to Christian Techno music. This morning I met with two other women for our first reading of Scripture together. We're going to get together each morning at 8 or 8:30 am to read Scripture together for 30 minutes, then pray together. It was great. At times I tend to think that Devotional Times are more complicated than they need to be. Just planning on getting together to read- takes no preparation but it's SUCH a blessing!

So this morning we were reading in Matthew. And for some crazy reason, a verse popped out at me that's never popped quite to this degree.

Matthew 21: 36-40

"'Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?'"

And He said to them, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and foremost commandment."

"The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.'

"On these two commandments depend the whole Law and Prophets."

LOVE GOD. If I follow this command, all others will fall into place. If I love Him with all my heart, my life will show it. Fruit will come of it. People will notice it. People will be attracted to my attraction for Christ. It's simple. I make Him my love and my life. I use my life to show Him how committed and in love with Him I am. Beautiful.

Pumpkin Pie

I can officially say that today I learned how to appropriately spell "pumpkin." It's always been a confusing word to spell for me. Until today, I thought it didn't have a "p." Today, after looking at a can of pumpkin, I realized that it IS spelled with a "p."

Besides realizing pumpkin is spelled with a "p", today I made my very first pumpkin pie! It literally took ALL day since the pie dough was sticking to the counter top every time I rolled it out. I had to get smart in order to figure out how not to tear it. Jason and I will eat it tonight- hopefully it's good!

Jason had a cold this weekend- pretty severe. He's definitely on the mend, but his being sick made me realize it's been years since either of us have been sick. I praise God for the health he's given us~!

Here's our answered prayer for the week:

On Sunday Jason was in bed all day with a fever. I prayed over him Sunday night before going to bed. God heard. When he woke up Monday morning he felt 100x better. God answered our prayer. I love it :)

Gotta go!

New Life at Camp Forest Springs!

So... life here in Wisconsin is going great so far. The past three days have been incredible! We unloaded our 22-footer on Saturday and had so much unexpected help from several camp staff the minute we got in. Jason's parents and Matt Stiles drove up with us to help and what a BLESSING that was! All of the camp staff were SO welcoming to us and we were a bit overwhelmed because everyone knew who we were and we're still working on remembering names and faces! Monday was Jason's first day at work. I spent the day unpacking and got a bit lonely since I was by myself most of the day. But today has been better. Slowly I'll get plugged in here also. I spent all day helping staff wives with mailings. Tomorrow there's Womens' Bible Study for wives all morning, and Thursday it's back to stuffing and labeling envelopes! I'm excited though. I want to serve as much as I can and I want to know where God wants to use me.

Jason loves what he's learning so far. Steve is the accountant he's working with and Steve and his wife, Linda, are SO genuine and love Christ and this camp deeply. They've been a huge encouragement to us already! Jason's overwhelmed with all that Steve has on his plate. His statement when he got back yesterday was, "This camp would fall apart without Steve!" Hence the reason they brought Jason on :) Jason's excited to take away some of Steve's stress. I think they'll be a great team.

The land is beautiful here- we love it. No more noisy traffic and planes. I took a jog yesterday through some of the trails and had some time to reflect. I was reminded of how much I love being in God's creation. But despite that, every time I'm left in the forest alone I get this deep feeling of loneliness. I was praying and asking God why this is. I'd always thought nature made me feel closer to God... After praying and reflecting, I was reminded that the only creation of God's that had been created in His image is man. Nature is beautiful, and an amazing reflection of His handiwork, but it was not created in His image. Through this, the Holy Spirit reminded me of my need for companionship. I love nature but I crave companionship with those who've been created in the image of my Father.

I love it here because I get to be in God's creation, WHILE being surrounded by people. Jason and I are praying about how we can be involved with the community outside of camp also.

Alright, gotta go- I need to get caught up on the news!!!!!!!!!!

On The Phone..........

Irritating....

In the process of getting ready to move, I recently noticed that my license expired a little less than a month ago! I haven't received anything in the mail regarding renewing it and don't make a habit of checking it's expiration date. SO.... in order to be able to get a license in WI, I have to pay for a valid one in MN....which seems odd since I'm leaving here in 3 days. I know its the "process" but I hate having to pay for a license in MN, only to have to pay for another in WI days after I get there.

So I'm on the phone....

Trying to get in contact with a PERSON, but thinking it's not gonna happen.

And nope, it's not happening, I give up....

I guess I'll just pay for two licenses within a week. Is it just me, or does this seem weird? Maybe I'm just grumpy for having to pay money for both...

Deep thoughts resulting from deep conversations and prayer

I've been realizing more and more how we as Christians need to take a stand for Christ. Truth will not be heard if Christ's servants are silent. God's been convicting me of this for some time now.

I love RC Sprouls words, "Truth is too important to be killed in the streets for the sake of peace." Our churches are becoming more about cultural relativity and "peace" than about teaching solid Biblical truths from God's Word. Paul Washer addresses this in his sermon to "aspiring" pastors. He talks about how many churches are focusing more on "goats" than on "sheep." (goats being those who don't yet have the Holy Spirit within them, and sheep being those who do). And while churches are focusing so much on the goats, the sheep are starving to death. And if Christ's church is starving, how can it reach the lost?

Jason and I have realized that we need expository teachings from the Word of God. We realized we were starving for that. We were starving for someone to teach us the Word, unwatered down by culteral relativity. We realized that we are far more passionate about reaching those without Christ when we understand the magnitude of His mercy and righteousness- and when we fall more in love with Him on account of being saturated in His Word.

I have a friend who has a brother in seminary. She asked him one day how his classes were going, and he said something to the nature of, "Oh I'm learning how to water down the Gospel for the sake of church growth." It's heart-breaking to realize that this is being taught in seminary classes (obviously dependant, I'm sure, on where one goes).

God's been showing us just how infiltrated churches are becoming by the philosophies of the world. Scripture talks about being on guard against lies and deceptions getting into churches. Many pastors and ministers are well-intentioned, and good intentions are great- but good intentions aren't always equivalent to truth. And truth is what we need to be seeking after.

My mind is racing right now. Our nation is changing and I so desparately want to impact it for Christ. I also want to have the confidence in Christ to "speak aloud what He has whispered in my ear." And I want humility. Oh Lord, I want humility and boldness.

Words from Godly Men

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2zvqQ1w-Os

Corrupt Bird

I've been finding myself getting so caught up in politics lately. And I've developed strong conservative views on politics since following it so closely. I get confused at times when thinking of the role we, as followers, should have when it comes to politics. I've realized that it's wrong for me to try and separate the two- to omit myself from that realm. But I get confused when thinking about the extent to which I need to be involved. I've never thought about it so much before. And often times I wonder if I'm thinking about some of these things too much!

Jason comes from a Christian-liberal family. And I struggled for a while as I would listen to their views on how the church and state should be separated- how morality isn't a factor we should consider when electing a president since he ultimately has no control over that. I've realized, since Obama took office, that this administration does have control over that. Obama has done and has tried to do plenty to further abortion and embryonic stem cell research, and to tweak the marraige ammendment, among other things.

I feel faced, so often, with Christian-liberals telling me I'm not compassionate to the poor unless I share their views. And on the flip side I often find myself wondering how on earth a Christ-follower can vote for a party so supportive of lifestyles that victimize those weaker than they.

It's hard not to get caught up in politics, especially now.

Paul Washer (once again, great pastor!) gave me perspective on it through one of his sermons when he said, "Our hope is in Christ, not in any political party. And regardless of whether we're right wing or left wing, we're still riding a corrupt bird." I love that.

I know I'll still struggle with how involved to be. And I'll still struggle with all these frustrating thoughts. But I'm praying for God to give me clarity of thought. I want to see all this as He does. I want to approach it as He would. We live in a country where the American people have a voice and can influence the direction of their country. I want God to show me how and if He wants me to be an influence in my country.

Dad

I'm praying for a miracle. I'm praying God gives dad this job. I trust He'll provide for dad because He says He will, I just don't know how He'll do it. And we've been waiting on Him...for so long with this. I strongly feel this job opportunity would be perfect in so many ways for dad. From my perspective, I can't see how anything could be better. And so I'm praying, asking God specifically to orchestrate things so dad gets this job. I have NO doubt that God can answer my request. But will He in this way? Would it be His will, His plan? That I don't know. But I will still ask- trusting, believing, knowing He hears me and others who are praying for this.

Peace admist terror

I'm sad about what's going on in Iran. It's heartbreaking. I made the mistake of watching the vidoe of the Iranian woman being shot by the police. It was a gruesome video and I truly couldn't get the image out of my head all day. You hear about these things happening all the time...and they do happen every day. But then you see someone die up close and it makes it real. It hits you in a way it never did before. I know death happens every day. But what a scary transition....from this life to eternity. And what a scary thing...to not know where you're going. I know when I pass I'll be with my Savior, and yet I'll admit, there's a part of me that's terrified about the reality of death. Terrified about the pain. Terrified about how. Terrified of leaving this physical world- the only world I've ever really known. My faith is in Jesus Christ and I believe with all my heart in that true reality, and yet passing from a physical realm to a spiritual realm? Wow.... Leaving the known and entering the "unknown?" My spirit lives for the knowledge of that"unknown"...my spirit is joyful to die one day to go be with the One who gave it life. But my body knows nothing of that reality. My body knows this world, this reality, these feelings, this knowledge of good and evil.... It knows nothing else. And to separate the two by death? What will it be like???

All throughout the day thoughts like these were going through my head. Then on the drive to CUB Foods I turned on 95.3. On this station a man was being interviewed- a man who lost his wife and four children when he lost control of their van during a storm and descended into the flooded river below. He talked of the pain...and of God strengthening his faith through his near death and the death of his entire family. But when he began sharing about his close experience with death, tears filled my eyes. And the Holy Spirit comforted my heart. Because he talked of the fear he experienced while being tossed like a rag doll through the current, he talked of the pain of gasping for air and only getting water, and he shared the feeling....the feeling of knowing his family was probably dead and of knowing death was at his doorstep. But his testimony didn't end there... because he talked about the Holy Spirit. And of how God was with him....of the deep peace that unexplainably swept over him admist the terror of what he was facing. God was right there. He was facing death... but God there.

And God gave me peace. A reassurence that despite my fear of death itself, He will be with me through it. He never leaves me. And it will be no different when I face death.

Pastors

Lately Jason and I have been strengthened greatly in our faith by listening to pastors online. You Tube is a great source for a lot of immorality, but it can also be a great source for spreading God's truth. Jason and I choose to use it for the latter :) We have grown a lot through men like Paul Washer, Jeff Noblit, and John Piper. Typically, it's recommended that we listen to a certain pastor, we first hear him on youtube, and find his ministry website where we download more sermons. These men are abundantly inspired by God and preach solid truth from the Word of God without watering down what Scripture says. Jason and I have been longing and thirsting for fellowship with those more mature in their faith and experience. We've been longing for wisdom from those who take seriously Mark 8:34-35. Through these men and through digging into Scriptures, God has increased our deep deep thirst for Him. We are understanding, slowly, the depth of our commitment to Jesus Christ. We are learning how to be firm in truth, while doing it in the love of Christ, with the help of the Holy Spirit. God has overwhelmingly spoken to us through these servants of His. The body of Christ, teaching and abmonishing one another with passion for Christ. is an incredibly beautiful and necessary thing.

Amazing Friends

I should write more on my blog. Jason and I are thinking about "combining" blogs so he can share some of his thoughts from time to time. We'll see. I'm not convinced many people read blogs, so it's kind of a therapy and "processing" exercize I just enjoy doing for my own mental development. And then there are times I simply get excited about whatever, and blab on about that to who knows who.

This weekend my ex-roommates and I from Northwestern had a weekend "reunion" in Fargo. It was incredible having a girls' weekend of doing nothing but estrogen-oriented activities. And I miss those girls so much.

I love those friendships- the kind that remain the same regardless of time and distance. It's an incredible feeling to simply "go back in time," picking up where you left off as if nothing happened and no time lapsed between.

On Saturday we played tennis for hours. Jenn is a tennis coach and she was "coaching" Sarah and I how to become better tennis players. And now I'm obsessed with the sport. Jenn is incredible and has always been, so is Sarah- it's beautiful watching friends grow up, seeing how God's been shaping them...where He's bringing them....seeing how He's using their qualities you've always loved, for His glory.

I love it :)

Powerful Quote

I was listening to a sermon by Paul Washer....Powerful quote:

"How could the world not get along with the holiest Man that EVER walked the earth... and get along with us?

Sharing Faith

Today I'm filling in for a manager who went to the ER for possible premature labor. Since it's not my property, "filling in" can be BORING. I keep my self entertained well though with different things- and times like these are the only times I really blog! So I'm blogging and eating a grilled cheese sandwhich...with no ketchup :-/

I wanted to share a couple things though so this provided a good opportunity. On Friday Jason had some coworkers over to the house. When I got home they were in a big ole' conversation about Christianity and Buddhism. I was blown away as I was listening in the bathroom to Jason's boldness in sharing with them and was HUGELY encouraged by it since it's something I really struggle doing. Soon, I joined in on the conversation. Jason's coworkers were both Buddhists and were wanting to know what Christianity even was. Jason and I struggled as we tried to put our faith into words. They viewed Christians as weak because they feel Christ's sacrifice is an "excuse" and an "easy way out" of doing good. They see it as a cope-out. This in simple to understand in light of where they're coming from. Buddhists believe that, essentially, good works outweigh bad works- if you do enough good, it wipes out the bad, and you're well on your way to a great reincarnated life as.... a better Buddhist.

We learned a lot about what they believe but were also able to share the complete Gospel with them. A seed was planted. I would say that it was more of a "sharing faith" talk since neither of them (particularily one) were interested in putting their faith in Christ. They were trying, more or less, to point out what they believed to be "flaws" in the Gospel testimony- and we were trying to bring light to loop-holes in theirs, explaining what they felt were "flaws" in our faith. Fun times! It was a good conversation though and it's our prayer that the Holy Spirit stirs their hearts to question what they believe.

More than anything, though, I learned a lot from that conversation. And here it my list:
-Sharing my faith isn't that difficult -it's exciting!
-We realized it'd be a good idea to study other religions more so that when engaged in a conversation with someone, we know where they are coming from, and therefore, how to specifically share the Gospel with them. -This will also convey our respect for them.
-We need to "be prepared to have an answer for the hope that is in us." I take this literally, meaning I need to know Scripture well, and how to share the Gospel in a way others will understand. Preparation, preparation!
-Sometimes God gives opportunities to point-blank share the Gospel. The ideal seems to be "relational-witnessing," but God uses both.
-God has called me to share my faith with passion and love, despite how the other person may respond. Sometimes the Gospel may bring someone closer to Christ, for others it may push them farther away. I'm not to hide my faith and love for Jesus simply because I'm afraid of pushing them farther away. If God compels me to share I have to trust that His Holy Spirit is speaking through me.

But the best thing that I learned is, SHARING MY LOVE FOR JESUS IS EXCITING!!!!!!!

Unwavering Faith

I read this the other day from a book I'm reading by Arthur W. Pink:

"But if instead of bowing to the testimony of Holy Writ, if instead of walking by faith, we follow the evidence of our eyes, and reason therefrom, we shall fall into a quagmire of virtual atheism. Or, if we are regulated by the opinions and views of others, peace will be at an end. Granted that there is much in this world of sin and suffering which appeals and saddens us, granted there is much in the providential dealings of God which startle and stagger us; but that is no reason why we should unite with the unbelieving worldling who says, 'If I were God I would not allow this or tolerate that,' etc. Better far, in the presence of bewildering mystery, to say with one of old, 'I was dumb, I opened not my mouth, because though didst it' (Psa. 39.9). Scripture tell us that God's judgements are 'unsearchable,' and His ways, 'past finding out' (Romans 11.33). It must be so if faith is to be tested, and confidence in His wisdom strengthened , and submission to His holy will fostered."

"Here is the findamental difference between the man of God and the man of unbelief. The unbeliever is 'of the world'; judges everything by worldly standards, views life from the standpoint of time and sense, and weighs everything in the balance of his own carnal thinking. But the man of faith brings in God; looks at everything from His standpoint, estimates values by spiritual standards, and views life in the light of eternity. Doing this, he recieves whatever comes from the hand of God. Doing this his heart is calm in the midst of the storm. Doing this he rejoices in hope of the glory of God."

I want to encourage everyone to remember this. This world elevates man's "intellectualism" above faith in God and I suppose this is natural for one without Christ. But much of the church is doing the same- and this is scary. Don't be afraid to stand up for righteousness, to be firm in Christ and in God's revelations given us through Scripture. Remember to commit each day to God Almighty. Remember that we are in this world, but we are not of it. And remember that if what "seems good," in our eyes contradicts with the Word of God, we must live by faith- knowing that God's wisdom far surpasses even our capability of knowing.

I'm realizing more and more the extent to which Christians are being decieved. -Dwelling on social injustices and pitying mankind, forgetting that according to Scripture there are absolute truths. God is not a beast in the sky- He desires that everyone comes to saving grace. And in all things we must remember that our righteous, loving Father is in control. We put our faith in this and march on as His humble amabassadors, living out of love for Him.

Do not equate righteousness to judgementalism, or allow your love for the lost to be warped by immoral perceptions of right and wrong. There is wickedness in the world. And we are called to be the light of Christ. America is on a downward slide, morally. Being "not of the world" we are called to stand firm; we are not to be affected because our adoring gaze is on our Father. Hold on to unwavering faith. Without it you cannot please your Lord God.

Back in MN

We're back in MN. It was great being in the mountains and seeing my bro, his wife, and little Sophia- but back to reality. Back to work. Back to the ole grind. But thankful I am- YES thankful for my job and for the life God's given us. We will miss the mountains. We'll miss the hiking. We'll miss the beauty and the time off. But it's great to be back. The green popping up everywhere is beautiful :)

!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE MY HUSBAND AND HE'S DONE WITH SCHOOL IN 9 DAYS!!!!!

ARIZONA AND COLORADO!!!

Jason and I are ecstatic! We're goin on another trip. Another trip to AZ. Even though no one probably cares, I want to share what our trip will be like. We just finished planning and putting it all together this past weekend so it's fresh on my mind. In 3 weeks, the first week of May, we're heading into Pheonix, AZ. We'll fly into Pheonix on the 1st and my brother, his wife, and our new little neice will meet us at the airport. We'll drive to Flagstaff, AZ (which is where they live) and spend the weekend with them. Since my brother can't afford to take work off, we're renting a car in Flagstaff for the whole week and on Monday we're heading out in our rental car and making the 8 hour drive to Colorado Springs, where we have a hotel booked for 4 days. We're going to explore the mountains! We're going to spend Tuesday at Pikes Peak and either Wed. or Thurs. take the 2 hour drive to Rocky Mountain National Park to explore some more. I loooove the mountains. Something about them overwhelms me with awe for God..... On either Thursday or Friday we're driving back to Flagstaff. We'll spend the weekend with my brother and sis-in-law again and hopefully climb Mt. Humphrey (the tallest Mt. in AZ). Then Sunday we'll fly back to MN. We're excited :)

Jason will then be done with school (except for 1 summer class) and will hopefully get a full-time job, God-willing. Then we'll work work work to pay off our student loans. Prayerfully, within 2 years, we'll be free of debt! Then we'll seriously pray and think about moving.

God is great :) This past Easter we stayed home and didn't go see any family. It was amazing. More than ever I was able to meditate on what Christ did. Friday night was incredible and Jason and I had a candle-lit time of prayer and reading on the crucifixion. Sunday was so joyous and for the first real time I was able to praise Him on Easter Sunday without Easter holiday distractions. It was amazing. Every Easter as I grow closer to Jesus Christ, Easter becomes more and more meaningful. It's easily become my favorite holiday. God is amazing :)

Flower Metaphor

Okay so I HAVE to share this because God showed me something simple this morning- simple but to me an amazing realization. On Valentine's Day (like forever ago) Jason bought me 2 gardenia plants in little pots. When I got them they looked ready to bloom into flowers- they had buds and everything. They're high-maintenance plants (require watering every day, direct sunlight, and they need water to be sprayed on them daily). I've been trying and trying to get the buds to bloom. But they continually fall off. It's been aggravating! Latey I've been closely watching a particular bud because it's gotten larger than any buds before it. Well, this morning I woke up and after certain morning routines I went to water the plants again. I reached to pick up one of the pots and nearly fell over- A gorgeous white flower had bloomed overnight! I know it sounds stupid, but you don't even understand how excited that made me! I kept repeating to myself, "It's beautiful, it's beautiful, it's beautiful...." After realizing how ridiculously happy it made me. God spoke to my heart. "Spring, maybe now you can understand how ecstatic I get when you bloom... when you produce fruit for me." There's a reason God uses the "fruit producing" metaphor in His Gospels, and today God enabled me to understand how perfect and beautiful that metaphor is. He tries and tries to prune me and too often I fail and fail to bloom. I want to produce flowers for my Savior!

Some may think this is cheesy, but I don't think so. God speaks to us, and sometimes in silly ways :)

God PLEASE guide our future....

For the first time, we're having to think about where God actually wants us. For so long Jason was in school and we were simply waiting for him to finish. Now we can actually see the finish line, but once we pass it we're not sure where to venture from there. Where do you want us God? We don't want to be anywhere but where You want us... Can you PLEASE write something on this wall I'm staring at? That'd be nice. Make it obvious to us, and we'll go where You're calling us to go, we'll do what You want us to do.

I have this fear....I have this fear of not living my life to it's fullest for the One who gave His life for me. I have this fear of entering Heaven, knowing I failed to manifest the depth of my love for my Savior and God. Life on earth is my opportunity. It's my chance to show God my adoration of Him through the life that I live. It's my chance to do my part in leading others into His Amazing Kingdom.

What if I fail? What if I die and most of my life I lived for myself? I shudder at that thought. I shudder not because I fear God will strike me down, but at the thought that I never fully gave Him my heart. Fully giving Him my heart means fully giving Him my life- every part of my life. Lord, teach me to give everything to You. As I grow older, PLEASE hold me closer and closer. Allow me to understand more of who You are.

We want to live our lives for Christ. And so we're asking, "Lord, where do You want us?" I see so many believers lose sight of faith as they get older. People get tied up in life, tied up in their jobs, tied up in accumulating possessions, tied up in the "American dream," tied up in their families. Their passion for Christ is lost. Their passion for the lost...is lost. And so Jason and I have this fear....that life and time and money and jobs will fog our vision of eternity, as it has for so many. So, Lord, plan our futures for us. Show us where to go. Show us what to do. And enable us to put our selfish desires aside. We love You.

In the Library.....

Jason and I are at the library right now. I'm sitting next to him and he's plucking away at the computer, distraught over a huge presentation he has due tomorrow. Watching him stress out makes me happy I'm done with school and yet sad that he's frazzled. Soon it'll be over. Soon he'll graduate. And soon we'll have "normal" lives. Maybe.... I've often wondered if we're capable of having "normal" lives and I've wondered even more whether or not we'd ever want a "normal" life.

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It's difficult to focus my thoughts since the longer I sit here the more I notice a headache coming on. These flourescent lights.... who invented them? Is it just me or do they cause anyone else headaches? The computer screen must be full of them and I'm certain the overhanging lights are flourescent bulbs hiding under glass globes.
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I don't have a huge agenda of things to get done while being here at the library but I did want to read some. I brought the book "The Shack" since I've heard it's good. So far I've read a few chapters but had hoped to read a couple more tonight. I also brought the "Morning and Evening" Devotional by Charles H. Spurgeon. His devotionals are encouraging and compel me to live passionately for my God. I do randomly post some of his devotionals- those the Holy Spirit uses to speak to my heart. So if you're ever wondering how Spring became so "smart-sounding," you may not be suprised to find out it's not me. It's Charles Spurgeon. I love how he words things- so straightforward and passionately.

Alright I'm signing off so I can read in the library next to my stressed out husband.

"Sin.....exceeding sinful." Romans 7:13

Beware of light thoughts of sin. At the time of conversion, the conscience is so tender, that we are afraid of the slightest sin, Young converts have a holy timidity, a godly fear lest they should offend God. But alas! Very soon the fine bloom upon these first ripe fruits is removed by the rough handling of the surrounding world: the sensitive plant of young piety turns into a willow in after life, too pliant, too easily yielding. It is sadly true, that even a Christian may grow by degrees so callous, that the sin which once startled him does not alarm him in the least. By degrees men get familiar with sin. The ear in which the canon has been booming will not notice the slight sounds. At first a little sin startles us; but soon we say, "Is it not a little one?" Then there comes another, larger, and then another, until by degrees we begin to regard sin as but a little ill; and then flows an unholy presumption" "We have not fallen into open sin. True, we tripped a little, but we stood upright in the main. We may have uttered one unholy word, but as for the most of our conversation, it has been consistent." So we palliate sin; we throw a cloak over it; we call it by dainty names. Christian, beware how thou thinkest lightly of sin. Take heed lest thou fall little by little. Sin, a little thing? Is it not a poisen? Who knows it deadliness? Sin, a little thing? Do not the little foxes spoil the grapes? Doth not the tiny coral insect build a rock which wrecks a navy? Do not little strokes fell lofty oaks? Will not continual droppings wear away stones? Sin, a little thing? It girded the Redeemer's head with thorns, and pierced His heart! It made Him suffer anguish, bitterness and woe. Could you weigh the least sin in the scales of eternity, you would fly from it as from a serpent, and abhor the least appearance of evil. Look upon all sin as that which crucified the Savior, and you will see it to be "exceeding sinful."

Philidelphia, Pennsylvania

We're in PA right now, at the hotel. We're getting back Saturday or Sunday. FYI to all ya'll, we cancelled our cell phone service so cannot be contacted anymore via our cell phones. When we get back we'll get our new home phone number out to everyone. We also don't have internet anymore but can check it at work and at school. If you call and can't get through, it's because out cell phones no longer work.

It's beautiful here in PA. Much warmer than the Twin Cities. We're heading back up to our room!

I killed a bug this morning...

I killed a bug this morning,
And yesterday I killed two.
These bugs were black flies...
the kind that sit on poo.
I wonder if God gets sad
when I kill His bugs...
And if I should feel bad,
when I choose to smash them.
I admit that it would suck...
it would suck to be born a fly,
the opposition you would face
Would make you want to cry...
I may think twice next time,
before squashing a fly.


Man, I'm a good poem writer.....

I'm excited!!!

I'm excited!! Jason and I were inspired by Pastor Jason's challenge on Sunday. I woke up Monday morning to a note left on the table by my husband (who had gone to bed an hour earlier!). In the note he shared about how God has been working in his heart and how he feels God prompting us to be more frugal than we have been with our finances. SO...we've talked and decided we can easily do the following: cut internet (don't really need it), cut cell phones (it'd be MUCH cheaper to use a land line), search for cheaper car insurance plans, and get rid of our fitness membership (using Northwestern's equipment instead). The only thing we wouldn't get rid of is cable, so we can keep up on the news. Plus we only pay $15 monthly for cable.

But we're excited! Call us silly but the thought of living a more frugal life is exciting. It's our prayer that through this we care less and less for the things of this world, and experience a deeper love for the things loved by our God . It's also our prayer that we're committed to tithing and to paying off debt owed in student loans. The idea of having no debt is so freeing. And we know that it's in God's will that we pay back our debt as soon as we can.

I personally have decided to shop for clothes at second-hand stores. I rarely shop anyways but sometimes you can find some good stuff for really cheap!

So this is our new embarkment! Please pray that God strengthens our love and devotion to His cause through this commitment!

The Love of God

I was thinking the other day, as I was driving to work, about relationships. I was praying and was in frustration at the thought of my discontent -Discontent with one relationship in particular. I've been wondering why I don't have a deeper relationship with this person and have been hurt over it. But I realized- as I was praying, God showed me- that I desire more of a realtionship with this person than this person desires from me. I thought of different instances that have made this relatively clear.... and initially this thought really hurt me. But as I was praying over this, God opened my eyes to something ---- I may love this person, desire a deeper relationship, and long to show my love through my actions; but my ability to be there for this person and to demonstrate my love is inhibited by their lack of desire to allow me into their life. Often God must feel this same way. He loves all people unconditionally, yet so often people don't care to know Him. People don't always claim to outright reject Christ, yet by their actions they push Him away. They don't care to seek after Him, to find truth, and because of this God cannot be there for them in the way that He so desparately desires. In the same way that I'm hurt by this one person, God must be immeasurably hurt by so many. The thought of this broke my heart. People reject Christ because they believe He's judgemental and cruel, but they don't know His love because they've never allowed their hearts to experience that love. What a loving God we serve.... it's heart-breaking that people cannot see this...

Writing Dilemma

I'm writing, yet I have not fully processed what I'm going to write. It may be that I do not know what to write. Yes, that is the case, I do not know what to write. And so I sit..... you may want to know why I want to write when I know not what to write. And regretably I have no answer. And so I continue to sit..... at times I would prefer that my writing skills were more coherent, that my thoughts flowed a bit better, perhaps then I could think of what to write. But no such luck. It seems that I love writing of spiritual things, yet when I write simply to write of my life, my mind chooses to go blank. I could write of work, but work is not eventful at the moment, hence my reason for writing. I could write of Jason, but cannot imagine what to write of him. I could write of leisurely activities. I could write of friends. But again, I cannot think of why to write of these things, let alone what to write of these things. And so I sign off and will write when I have something to write of.

The Future.....

Some days time creeps by so slowly. And other times it flys by so fast. Work usually creeps by. I'm excited for this summer. Jason graduates and our life moves on! This year has been great, don't get me wrong, but I'm excited for new things. We're planning a trip to the Carolina's in the Spring to check out areas we could possibly move to. We want to move! And we fear if we don't just do it right away, we'll never go. It's a sad thought (for us) to be stuck in Minnesota for the rest of our lives. We've had enough of this cold weather and want to be near mountains.

It's hard to know sometimes.....where God wants us. At times it'd be nice to hear a voice from Heaven saying, "Go here" or "Go there." And yet I love the perspective that says, "Go, and if God does not want you where you're going, He'll close the doors." It's my prayer that He does just this.

Where will we work? Who knows? And often my perspective is, does it really matter? Where will we live? Again, who knows.....

All I know is we're not ready to settle down. I can't even imagine the thought of buying a house and paying off the $100,000+ morgage for the majority of my life. And yet renting isn't ideal either. So I suppose we may get a house at some point, An inexpensive house...

You live within your means, you know? I suppose I'm realizing God's made me a fighter. I'm going to fight against materialism. And if I realize or anticipate that something will cause me to drift in a direction other than towards my Savior, I'm going to run from it.

We want to work, but we don't want to become obsessed with our careers. We want a house but we don't want to be tied down to our house to such an extent that we wouldn't be willing to go if God asked. We don't want to starve but we neither do we want to be rich. And yet if God blesses us with wealth it's our prayer that we live the same life, giving any extra money to God and His Kingdom.

I better get back to work. I just needed to ramble for a bit :)

How Beautiful is the Holiness of God!!!

I love God’s Word. I love studying it. I love reading it. And I love how the Holy Spirit speaks to us through Scripture. I’ve been doing a lot of studying lately. Studying the archeological history of the Bible (how it originated into the form that we know), studying 1st and 2nd Kings, and the history of Israel- before and after Christ’s ascension. I study not to convince myself of Biblical truths. But so that I have an answer for those who may ask questions I have never been quite sure how to answer.

Yet studying all of the above has increased my faith in God. God is so faithful -and I am realizing this more and more every day I walk with Him. I am realizing the extent of His holiness, and therefore the magnitude of Christ’s sacrifice. The more I learn of God’s law, the more I am awed by His grace. Without the law why would anyone need God? No one knows really what the love of God is all about until the Law comes in. What a magnificent, holy God we serve! And we owe Him nothing less than our lives….

In studying through 1st and 2nd Kings I am awed. What wicked kings Israel and Judah had! And oh how God hates sin! Every time Israel and Judah sinned, they were punished. And yet God kept the promises He made to those who walked in His will. It’s beautiful to see the consistency of God’s holiness. Israel sins; Israel is punished. Israel walks in the ways of the Lord; God blesses the nation. Over and over they turn from God. Over and over they are punished by the hand of God. And yet He is faithful to the promises He made to Abraham, to David.

I wonder….so often we focus on Christ’s love. But so often we stay away from talking of God’s holiness and righteousness. Why?

All throughout the Old Testament God’s holiness is proclaimed. Too often we shut this part of Scripture out, saying “ that’s the Old Covenant.” This may be true, yet the Old Testament is in God’s Word for a reason. I believe it’s there to remind us of the righteousness of our Holy Creator; to show us the extent to which He hates sin.

It’s true that “By grace we are saved, and not by works,” but it’s also true that “faith without works is dead”.

Studying the Old Testament has increased my desire to live a blameless life before God. I see His holiness and His love of righteousness, and while I know that I am not saved by works, I desire in the deepest way to be holy, as He is holy- and this is portrayed through my works. I desire holiness because I love Him. Because I see what He loves and I desire to be more of that. Not to be loved more, but to love Him more through my actions, through my life.

Ye are Christ's." 1 Corinthians 3:23

"Ye are Christs." You are His by donation, for the Father gave you to the Son; His by His bloody purchase, for He counted down the price for your redemption; His by dedication, for you have consecrated yourself to Him; His by relation, for you are named by His name, and made one of His brethren and joint-heirs. Labour practically to show the world that you are the servant, the friend, the bride of Jesus. When tempted to sin, reply, "I cannot do this great wickedness, for I am Christ's." Immortal principles forbid the friend of Christ to sin. When wealth is before you to be won by sin, say that you are Christ's, and touch it not. Are you exposed to difficulties and dangers? Stand fast in the evil day, remembering that you are Christ's. Are you placed where others are sitting down idly, doing nothing? Rise to the work with all your powers; and when the great sweat stands upon your brow, and you are tempted to loiter, cry, "No, I cannot stop, for I am Christ's. If I were not purchased by blood I might be like Issachar, crouching between two burdens; but I am Christ's and cannot loiter." When the siren song of pleasure would tempt you from the path of right, reply, "Thy music cannot charm me; I am Christ's." When the cause of God invites thee, give thyself to it; when the poor require thee, give thy goods and thyself away, for thou art Christ's. Never belie they profession. Be thou ever one of those whose manners are Christian, whose speech is like the Nazarene, whose conduct and conversation are so redolent of heaven, that all who see you may know that you are the Saviour's, recognizing in you His features of love and His countenance of holiness. "I am Roman!" was of old a reason for integrity; far more, then, let it be your argument for holiness, "I am Christ's!"

-Charles Spurgeon

I read this devotional a couple days ago. It was an incredible encouragement to me. I pray it's an encouragement to you.

Love long weekends

We went skiing for 7 hours on Saturday. It was incredible! Jason and his friend Pete, who came with us, are so much better at skiing than I am. They were flying down the hills, spinning, and skiing backwards... then there was me. Thankfully they were amazingly patient as I was perfecting my skills :) I've only been skiing 3 times in my life and I've never had the proper skiing stuff. (Goggles are a necessity for me since I wear contacts). It was so much fun though and before I knew it I was going down "black diamonds" -not horribly fast by any means, but getting down them nontheless.

The most adventurous part of it, though, was the weather. It was raining...hard! Freezing rain. All the hills were nothing less than puuuure ice. 30 minutes after we got in it started raining sleet. There was no way we were going to blow $80 by leaving so we toughed it out. Jason looked like a glazed donut and the rain cleared most everyone outta there- which meant less lines on ski lifts yay!

We had so much fun and I wish we could go more...it's just SO expensive.

We went to a wedding this weekend also. Jason was the usher in his friend's expensive wedding and I just tagged along to the rehearsal, rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony, and reception. It wasn't fun for me since I knew virtually no one. But such is life.

We played SO much Settler's of Caatan this weekend and introduced 5 people to the game! They all loved it! We also played some good ole' rook, which we're also crazy about.

Last night I talked with my little bro for 2 hours. I love my brother! We have such great conversations. I love that we're so close. I just hope we stay close- even when they have a girl in March :) We talked about the whole Calvinism/Armeniesm argument. Fun to disuss, but rather pointless to a degree. People think they can figure God out, failing to realize we can't know everything about God. All we need to know is that God is sovereign and all things are under His control. He knows who His children are. End of story!

So that was my weekend in a nutshell. My body is aching from skiing Saturday. I almost called in sick today, but I'm proud cause I didn't :)