Why is it so hard to be still? It's way too natural for me to fill my days with stuff. Random stuff. Sure, meaningful stuff. Mundane stuff. Useless stuff. It's way easy for me to go, go, go, GO! But soooo hard for me to be still... am I alone in this?
God's been laying Psalm 46:10 on me lately, "Be still, and know that I am God..." I'm ready to plaster this verse on my wall as a constant reminder!
BE. STILL. SPRING. It's okay to stop moving, to direct your mind and thoughts solely to Me, to rest in My presence, to listen to My voice, to invest time in My word...
I know I need this. I WANT more of Him. But whhhhhyyyy is it such a discipline to be still in His presence? I'm still searching out the whys... there are many...
Actively doing makes me feel productive; for whatever twisted reason resting and being still doesn't. I don't have a natural joy for reading in general; is this why it's hard for me to sit and commit time to God's word each day? I'm too focused on the physical; I want to spend time and give attention to what I can see, touch and physically feel- my husband, Lylah Mae, family, friends, hobbies. I'm naturally selfish; it's much easier for me to focus on "me" than to focus on Him. There's a spiritual battle; Ephesians 6... the enemy (lowercase "e") doesn't want me to grow in Christ, doesn't want me to hear His voice, to be His hands and feet in this world. I could go on and on...
There are many things in my life waging war with the discipline of being still in His presence... but I'm fighting this battle and I won't give up!
"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things..." Colossians 3:2
"Do not let this Book of the Law depart from your mouth, meditate on it day and night..." Joshua 1:8
"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord." Lamentations 3:25-26
Wednesday 20 May 2015
Monday 13 April 2015
The world should journal... and me too.
Sheesh... it's been 5+ months already since Lylah entered our picture. And more than that since my last blog. I was never very consistent at this task and adding a baby to the mix makes me that much less.
Blogging is sorta like journaling to me. And I used to be a fabulous journaler (not a word, I know). It was part of my nightly routine until Jason came along (guess he's my distraction). I do think one day I'll regret dropping the habit. I imagine myself, old and crinkly, drinking prune juice and reflecting on life's journey. Picking up my old journals to read them with the same excitement I would have if reading a novel (maybe more)... reading through all the ups and downs of life, the joys, the pains... the times when I was confused by God, the times when I was in complete awe of Him... laughing at my immaturity but reading of how God brought me through the "drama" of life- the big and little things. Totally wrapped up in the story and memories, but then... blank pages... silence, silence, silence. Nothing was written of my husband (my gift from God)... or of my baby girl (our little miracle), or of our torturous but adventurous house renovation, of our days at Forest Springs... the list goes on and on. Maybe after reflecting on this today I'll pick up the habit again (wishful thinking? time will tell...)
I think journaling can be a testimony... either to myself or to who knows who. I can read through my journals and be reminded of God's faithfulness through my yuck. And yes, that's already happened- I love reading through old journals. And who knows who else will read my writing rants. Maybe no one... maybe a random stranger... maybe a family member. But my life is a story. A short one to be sure, but one that hopefully points towards the goodness of God at every turn.
Yes... I should pick it up again. And you should pick it up too (yes, this suggestion is coming from a journaling hypocrite). Blogging is nice but isn't the same. Something about paper and ink is way better.
Blogging is sorta like journaling to me. And I used to be a fabulous journaler (not a word, I know). It was part of my nightly routine until Jason came along (guess he's my distraction). I do think one day I'll regret dropping the habit. I imagine myself, old and crinkly, drinking prune juice and reflecting on life's journey. Picking up my old journals to read them with the same excitement I would have if reading a novel (maybe more)... reading through all the ups and downs of life, the joys, the pains... the times when I was confused by God, the times when I was in complete awe of Him... laughing at my immaturity but reading of how God brought me through the "drama" of life- the big and little things. Totally wrapped up in the story and memories, but then... blank pages... silence, silence, silence. Nothing was written of my husband (my gift from God)... or of my baby girl (our little miracle), or of our torturous but adventurous house renovation, of our days at Forest Springs... the list goes on and on. Maybe after reflecting on this today I'll pick up the habit again (wishful thinking? time will tell...)
I think journaling can be a testimony... either to myself or to who knows who. I can read through my journals and be reminded of God's faithfulness through my yuck. And yes, that's already happened- I love reading through old journals. And who knows who else will read my writing rants. Maybe no one... maybe a random stranger... maybe a family member. But my life is a story. A short one to be sure, but one that hopefully points towards the goodness of God at every turn.
Yes... I should pick it up again. And you should pick it up too (yes, this suggestion is coming from a journaling hypocrite). Blogging is nice but isn't the same. Something about paper and ink is way better.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)