Peace admist terror

I'm sad about what's going on in Iran. It's heartbreaking. I made the mistake of watching the vidoe of the Iranian woman being shot by the police. It was a gruesome video and I truly couldn't get the image out of my head all day. You hear about these things happening all the time...and they do happen every day. But then you see someone die up close and it makes it real. It hits you in a way it never did before. I know death happens every day. But what a scary transition....from this life to eternity. And what a scary thing...to not know where you're going. I know when I pass I'll be with my Savior, and yet I'll admit, there's a part of me that's terrified about the reality of death. Terrified about the pain. Terrified about how. Terrified of leaving this physical world- the only world I've ever really known. My faith is in Jesus Christ and I believe with all my heart in that true reality, and yet passing from a physical realm to a spiritual realm? Wow.... Leaving the known and entering the "unknown?" My spirit lives for the knowledge of that"unknown"...my spirit is joyful to die one day to go be with the One who gave it life. But my body knows nothing of that reality. My body knows this world, this reality, these feelings, this knowledge of good and evil.... It knows nothing else. And to separate the two by death? What will it be like???

All throughout the day thoughts like these were going through my head. Then on the drive to CUB Foods I turned on 95.3. On this station a man was being interviewed- a man who lost his wife and four children when he lost control of their van during a storm and descended into the flooded river below. He talked of the pain...and of God strengthening his faith through his near death and the death of his entire family. But when he began sharing about his close experience with death, tears filled my eyes. And the Holy Spirit comforted my heart. Because he talked of the fear he experienced while being tossed like a rag doll through the current, he talked of the pain of gasping for air and only getting water, and he shared the feeling....the feeling of knowing his family was probably dead and of knowing death was at his doorstep. But his testimony didn't end there... because he talked about the Holy Spirit. And of how God was with him....of the deep peace that unexplainably swept over him admist the terror of what he was facing. God was right there. He was facing death... but God there.

And God gave me peace. A reassurence that despite my fear of death itself, He will be with me through it. He never leaves me. And it will be no different when I face death.

Pastors

Lately Jason and I have been strengthened greatly in our faith by listening to pastors online. You Tube is a great source for a lot of immorality, but it can also be a great source for spreading God's truth. Jason and I choose to use it for the latter :) We have grown a lot through men like Paul Washer, Jeff Noblit, and John Piper. Typically, it's recommended that we listen to a certain pastor, we first hear him on youtube, and find his ministry website where we download more sermons. These men are abundantly inspired by God and preach solid truth from the Word of God without watering down what Scripture says. Jason and I have been longing and thirsting for fellowship with those more mature in their faith and experience. We've been longing for wisdom from those who take seriously Mark 8:34-35. Through these men and through digging into Scriptures, God has increased our deep deep thirst for Him. We are understanding, slowly, the depth of our commitment to Jesus Christ. We are learning how to be firm in truth, while doing it in the love of Christ, with the help of the Holy Spirit. God has overwhelmingly spoken to us through these servants of His. The body of Christ, teaching and abmonishing one another with passion for Christ. is an incredibly beautiful and necessary thing.

Amazing Friends

I should write more on my blog. Jason and I are thinking about "combining" blogs so he can share some of his thoughts from time to time. We'll see. I'm not convinced many people read blogs, so it's kind of a therapy and "processing" exercize I just enjoy doing for my own mental development. And then there are times I simply get excited about whatever, and blab on about that to who knows who.

This weekend my ex-roommates and I from Northwestern had a weekend "reunion" in Fargo. It was incredible having a girls' weekend of doing nothing but estrogen-oriented activities. And I miss those girls so much.

I love those friendships- the kind that remain the same regardless of time and distance. It's an incredible feeling to simply "go back in time," picking up where you left off as if nothing happened and no time lapsed between.

On Saturday we played tennis for hours. Jenn is a tennis coach and she was "coaching" Sarah and I how to become better tennis players. And now I'm obsessed with the sport. Jenn is incredible and has always been, so is Sarah- it's beautiful watching friends grow up, seeing how God's been shaping them...where He's bringing them....seeing how He's using their qualities you've always loved, for His glory.

I love it :)